Thursday, December 30, 2010

How I wish!!

“How I wish every evening!

I didnt have to go leaving!!

You and those lovely eyes.

But that’s how the story goes!

Through the veiled smile,

The pain in you still shows!!

How I wish, I didn’t have to!

It’s tough and I still have to!!

Leave the warmth of your hands.

Funny game that life plays!

Arms that wave goodbye,

Actually long for an embrace!!

How much longer need I wait for my way!

To get to have you every time all day!!

I pray & petition.

For a day that I believe!

When unlike this evening,

I wouldn’t have to - bid goodbye and leave!!”

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

You and You Alone!!

So often it felt, it was a stilness that was gripping around,

At the edge of life I was so often found!

I willed myself for a fight...

Yet for so long this tunnel was devoid of light!!

Day upon day, as the sun went down,

Into my innerself, I let myself drown!

Into a hroizon where dreams of mine

Played in the lonliness of my mind!!

From that far-fetched horizon

and that self-inflicted deep slumber I have risen!

For I feel I have arrived, to a place

Where I stand waiting for an embrace!!

With everything spun in a moment,

I see no reason, anymore, to lament!

Giving a hope, and a reason

Giving meaning to this mortal season!!

It feels heaven to feel the touch,

of your lovely hands!

Just wish they dont slip... like the desert sands!!

For its hard to say goodbye...

Just as its hard to explain the how and the Why!!

So not easy, to write all I feel

So not easy, to say all I wish

Find myself tongue-tied... spell bound!

No right words to my mind come around!!

But each time into my eyes you see

In pain or in glee...

I hope you see it clear, that love

Shines brighter than the stars above!

Hoping that someday you do take notice

Waiting on that moment of bliss

Waiting that to you it'd be known

That i'm waiting for You and You Alone!!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Whose wrong, Which's Right??

Born into a world fed on being “right”
Life by heart is an endless fight!
Having to choose the logical or the insane,
A fight that’s – pointless & vain!!

For I was never a child of the mind
Free-spirited ‘am of my own kind!
Whether the world wants me or not,
In this endless dilemma, I find myself caught!!

It’s not like logic doesn’t get to me,
Or “rational” is something I can’t be!
But I trust that mind alone is not the way,
That the heart must have just as much say!!

Where rationality rules by reason,
I’d prefer some warmth that stays all season!
We’ve let our minds shore up so much ego,
That care & love have ceased to grow!

Why are we so quick to judge?
And so adamant not to budge?
As long as we can come together & unite,
Should it really matter whose wrong, which’s right??

Monday, December 20, 2010

Not afraid of being meek!!

I'm not afraid of tears,

Nor am I afraid of letting out a cry!

I'm not afraid of being left out,

Being left out high and dry!!

I'm not afraid of heartache,

Nor am I afraid of sorrow!

I'm not afraid of the unknown,

Of that unknown tomorrow!!

I'm not afraid of troubles,

Nor am I afraid of pain!

I'm not afraid of the thunders,

Those come with dark clouds and rain!!

I'm not afraid of losing the world,

One that I thought was all I wanted seek!

I'm not afraid of being afraid,

Nor am I afraid of being called meek!!

For I know alone I’m lonely,

And solitude turns one weak!

So forsaking the solitary ballad,

The symphony of togetherness I seek!!

Friday, November 26, 2010

I'm just a Me!!

However I look at it,

I’d still find myself a misfit!

The strange world & it numerous ways,

Why & How? I’d never figure it!!

Whatever my point-of-view,

Finding it unconventional isn’t quite new!

Am I plain crazy? Or just a tad different,

Answers to that are far & few!!

While there are differences to see,

All I am being is, just being me!

And yet I got no qualms with anyone,

Just wish they’d just let me be!!

For I’m just this regular lad,

And I follow no fashion nor fad!

Got an honest view, and an expressive heart

If that’s allowed, I’d just be mighty glad!!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Give me some time!!

Give me a moment, I wish to stand,

Give me a minute to understand!

Give me a second, and listen,

Give me time to clear my vision!!

Give me a day, to stabilize,

Give me a while, my heart cries!

Give me a moment, to reprise,

Give me some time to be wise!!

Give me a moment, of solitude,

Give me some space from this multitude!!

Give me the time, I wish so much so,

Give me the years, for I still need to grow!!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

I have a dear friend!!

Deep in my heart, I have a dear friend,
Living this city, that knows no end!
Days to weeks to months, time moves on
Blink of an eye, even a year is gone!!

While ever so close he is to my heart,
A few miles of the city, are a world apart!
For utterly maddening, is life’s race,
That ibeen a while I saw him face to face!!

For there was a time, and that was then,
But now we’re expected to be grown up men!
Far from the playful, life now is a silly game,
Each to his own, trying to make a name!!

Often I vow to myself, “Tomorrow I’d call him”
Yet it turning that to reality, the odds are so slim!
For the morrow comes & goes
How it flew away, no one knows!!

Deep in my heart, I had a dear friend,
Left with memories, I am at the end!
For when I had the time, we let it go,
And now I’m wondering “how could I do so”!!

And yet, lucky me! Not all is lost,
I still have time to make up for the past!
To take a walk, to that the dearest friend,
The one who’s special to day this day, beyond the worlds end!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Prodigal Returns!!

Where was I, all this while?
Gone - far and away,
May be a million mile!

Do I deserve a return?
Or long gone,
Is the chance of taking a U-Turn!

Am I confused?
And scared,
Of being turned away and refused!!

For I don’t know what awaits me?
A servere backlash?
But certainly not a welcoming party I'll see!!

Yet, forever I couldn’t stay away?
Soon it'll be dark,
And I should turn around, while its still day!

Not sure if it is my best bet?
Unsure and trembling
In the direction of home, my sails are set!!

I'm worried over what awaits me?
Sweating, I’m unaware,
That my father still awaits me in glee!!

For wasn’t it His promise?
He guards not the ninety-nine,
But the one that’s gone amiss!

Surprisingly, whats the unexpected I find?
Love and care, warmth that awaits
For my Father is patient and kind!!

Inspired by the one of the most touching parables of the Bible - The Prodigal Son!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Six Billion, and Still lonely!!

Statistics tell us that we are over six billion people on the face of planet earth… a colossal mass of humanity by any stretch of the imagination. Yet more so than at any point in human history we are fighting suicides, divorces, wars, frictions, differences and isolation. It might sound odd… but hardly any of us manage a peaceful night of sleep given some or the other conflict that rages within us! After all, with so many people around, there is easily a chance you’d find complete peace somewhere, isn’t it?

A friend of mine recently quipped “one ‘wrong’ can wipe away a hundred ‘rights’”… though the statement sounded true, it also tasted bitter and disturbing. Yes, that’s how the world pans out no doubt… but just because it does, doesn’t mean that it’s the right thing to do! After all, how can the weight of 100 things be lesser than just 1? Why have we come to accept it? Why have we come to practice it?

The Bible says that when God created man… He said “it’s not good for a man to be alone”… now I know that it is an oft quoted line in Christian weddings but I trust God also meant more in a social way! He also meant that socially we were not meant to be species to live alone, live in isolation and live trying to find differences than finding common ground.

Yet today, sadly, we are more at odds with one another than we have ever been… the smallest of mistakes results in washing away years of good… the tinniest of non-compliance leads to a full-scale war! Whatever happened to the ethos of patience & long suffering! More and more it is becoming easier to find conflict than find peace, we seem to have now developed a natural instinct to fall apart than to have the desire to cohabit.

Why? I fail to comprehend… honestly and humbly…

I thought love was a universal need, I felt that we all wanted to be together! Yet from couples to families to societies to countries… and as per Avatar even the inter-terrestrial being cannot think of co-existing… conflict has become our need of the day, an intoxicant that we cannot live without! Some sadistic pleasures we have begun to derive out of being at odds with one another that we have easily forgotten the sweetness of togetherness!

God created one unified landmass for all of us to live in, yet we broke it into pieces, and haven’t stopped at that, we take pleasure in fighting over who lords over what? Wouldn’t it have been peaceful for each to in their own spheres - collaborate and support.

They say that when we share our happiness is doubled and our sadness subsides into fractions! How did we manage to forget this? And if we haven’t then why are our joys becoming meaningless in the face of conflict, and our worries rising in the times of joy? Need an example, here is one…

Which day does our country see the most security men on the streets? Yes of course, Independence Day… we celebrate Freedom by way of putting security checks, police forces, guards and guns… hello… did anyone forget that Freedom was about having none of those... wasn’t it about peace? The joy of our Freedom is robbed by the fear of a terrorist strike… our joy fritted away in the face of conflict! Our worries multiplied in a time we should have been joyous… you could dissect the reasons of terrorism at your leisure and pleasure, yet the bottom line is that we gave up peaceful co-existence sixty years ago… and we continue to pay for it!

Marriage vows said, that one took his spouse for better or for worse, it was meant to be a union unto death does them apart! Sadly, as long as things stayed in the ‘better-half’ (no pun intended :P )things appear alright, the slightest hint of ‘worse’ breaks all hell open! More than death doing people apart, the possibility of staying together becomes worse than death! How else do I explain factitious marital chords and ever increasing divorces!

So much for being a country of a billion Indians, hundreds each day find themselves lonely to the extent that they have just death to embrace as their final pillow! Where are friendships, courtships and companionships??? Why are so many of us lonely… in the maddening crowd of thousands, each of us is an island unto ourselves! Why?

The world is more concerned today about bonds in the financial world, while those in our personal lives are breaking up each moment! We might yet survive a financial recession, but what would be the stimulus when you are hit with a global emotional depression?

Think, for we are not too far from it!!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Need reasons? I just have Love!!

Someone sang not so long ago… “Love me for a reason and let the reason be love” and I always felt that it was one of the easiest things to do. Wow… isn’t it? Love because you love! Isn’t that easy… I’d find it mighty difficult if I had to love someone only after I had convinced myself of the 100-odd reasons I’d need to know if I could love them or not. It is certainly easier to just go ahead and Love - without reasons & consequences.

One of my favorite lines goes like this “too many things in our lives are done without passion - let Love not be one of them” and just because I use Love & Passion in the same sentence doesn’t mean it is Love of a 'certain' kind only. It can be any love… between anyone, anything!

Why can’t we trust that it can exist – devoid of its negative trappings and existing in its most fundamental & beautiful form! Love that is not about receiving but one that is about giving. Why don’t we take Love to be an honest expression of care and warm outpouring of emotion? Why are we looking for reasons someone loves us before we begin to appreciate the love they have?

We live in strange times, so strange that every step could count as a bizarre paradox. We try with all our might to achieve a few things but conveniently forget to celebrate the success of those achievements. We cry our hearts out for someone to listen & care, yet when someone comes around we only have suspicion to greet that move. Why have we - as people & society, become so pessimistic and negative in thought. Our minds are closed to the possibility of love; our hearts no longer warm to finding selfless care.

We all know it, we all want it… we yearn for someone to love unconditionally… yet cannot believe that someone actually does! So contrived are our times that we cannot believe that love can exist for the sake of love alone. Yes, there has been an odd calamity here, an odd mistake there… but as species I wonder if such pessimism is warranted. Our lives are so in tuned as “ends justifying means” agents that in everything we look for a logical explanation. And if there comes none, our conclusions are grim to say the least.

The Bible says that we are all made in the image of God, and it also says that God is love… even my poor mathematics tells me that if a=b and b=c then a=c… by which I can assuredly conclude that each of us humans are capable of love because that is how God made us. Of a love that is selfless, honest and true. One that is devoid of a selfish motive… love that is because of love alone.

Sad, that we have now come to believe that we are incapable of such love! And even more saddening is that we have shut ourselves to even receive some of it!!

Is this the state of our poverty in our consciousness that we cannot accept “Love whose reason is Love Alone?” haven’t we been looking for it all along? Haven’t we been wishing that we find love that doesn’t restrict our horizons, that doesn’t want anything in return, that wants to give, that wants to express, that wants you to know you are special, that wants to just love… no more!!

I feel deeply disheartened that our pessimism and cynicism is so entrenched that now we do not want to Love this way anymore; we rather not believe that such love can exist than having to justify its existence. Our lives & times are all about justifying the myriad ends; Love has become a task which is measured for its 'justify-ability'… I can no longer love, just because I want to love, I need to give reasons and so many of them… sadly, the world that sang “Love me for a reason, and Let the reason be Love” has now settled for “Love me for a reason, else don’t bother to Love”

If you care to Love, you must be ready to explain – why, how, reasons, justifications, relations... and I find giving so much proof… as difficult as I did to prove mathematical theorems.

Glad I was awful at the theorems, for I’m no good at a ‘Hence Proved’ love either!

"For I loved as I could,
not as the world thought I should!
The Love I had, I never hid,
And there wasnt any wrong,
In all that I did!

I loved, not looking for a return,
I gave, never waiting for my turn!
'Cos my Love wasnt for any reason,
It was just an honest care & warmth,
And it stayed the same, each day, every season!!"

Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Silent Cry

Into the darkness of this night,
While loneliness I wrestle & fight,
I’m saying this prayer, with just YOU in sight!
Trusting you will accept, and not deny,
Hope you’re listening to my silent cry!!

I did strove for a different day,
Of delight rather than dismay,
But unwittingly I had traversed a wrong way!
And I hope you can see, the tears in my eye,
That you’re listening to my silent cry!!

I know my ways have fallen & are slack,
And deservedly I must take all flak,
Yet so trecherous is this smack!
Of pain I wince and agony I sigh,
I hope you’re listening to my silent cry!!

That I will mend and change, my way(s)
From deep in heart, I pray
Beyond this I don’t know, what to say!
Lonely, remorseful, waiting am I
While I hope you’re listening to my silent cry!!

Monday, August 16, 2010

Lonliness of Mistakes!!

I began to fill the emptiness that surrounds me
With the pieces of a broken heart!
I stood there by your side
Desperate for you not you leave,
Desperately clinging by your sleeve!

Yet, given that was my mistake,
And they never give a place to hide,
For Mistakes are loneliness,
Where I just had myself to confide!

And you looked at me to say nothing
Silence that tore us apart
Yet my folly was that I was wrong
And thus left to cry a lonely song!

Taken aback, and chocked!
If I spoke I was augmentative
If I didn’t, of guilt, I was admissive
I did neither, and I was called indecisive!

With tears in my eyes
And pain in my heart
I stood,
For that is all I could!

Can’t you see what this is doing to me?
It breaks my heart that you can stand there and not say a word.
All you want is go away
I’m scared – from deep inside
I’m scared – heart, body and mind

Nothing makes sense,
I try, I fail!
I try further, I fail further!!
I wish you tell me everything will be fine.
That everything will go back to the way it was.
That you love me and won’t leave me,

It’s my fallible moment,
It was my mistake…
To crucify me would be the obvious,
Why don you hold me back from oblivion?
For I’m searching for a place to hide,
And yet I find myself lonely
In the loneliness of mistakes, just have myself confide!

Monday, August 9, 2010

How to Train the Dragon in Me??? To love and embrace...

Watched “How to Train Your Dragon” a couple of times today, that’s apart from having watched at least about half a dozen times before, but then those of you know me, know that it’s not entirely surprising. In any case, its just not my fetish to watch animation that makes me love this movie so much, instead its the ability of these simple stories to pack profound lessons of life that keeps me drawing to them again and again.

No one could possibly deny the fact that Love transcends everything; it can mould anything and bring to peace amongst everyone. Yet, all it takes is that we employ Love as a means to resolve our issues - this the crux of this beautiful little piece of imagination.
It is quite so easy to dismiss Hiccup as the weak-hearted, timid, lad when he is unable to slay the Dragon that’s bound and immovable. Yet, it’s unmistakable that it takes a whole lot more courage, and conviction to sense a need (for love, forgiveness and restoration) in your adversary. And much more of it to be able to give all of that they need. Having had the courage to step aside from the well established path of trouncing your enemy to crown yourself in glory, Hiccup takes it further and charts a new flight of love and trust.

Indeed, to the skeptics it is all too easy for things to come together in fictional animated film. For the real world to them is an entirely different dragon – for an economist it’s an imperfect market, for a mathematician an irrational number, and so on – one that is not governed by any rules or conveniences that are possible in the fictional setting. Yet I would thumb my nose at such skeptics, for the simple fact that the world has come to what it has because of the fact that we haven’t used Love enough to resolve our issues. Dialogue is a long forgotten word; and Peace a long forgotten phenomenon. We have glorified war and competition at the altar success. Winning at any cost, glory bathed in the blood of your opponent (or your own, for that matter).

How long will we go on this way? How long before we kill and cancel each other off?? Is Survival of the Fittest the only rule we live by? If yes, then the survivor at the end would be left lonely… so lonely that he’d be alone to his own funeral. Why are we in such a mad rush to pin others down and put ourselves on top? Why cant we co-exist? Aren’t we social beings meant to live and let live? God made us this whole wide world, where everyone could find his square foot space under the sun. Still why are we gunning to take the other person down? Why have we built walls of mistrust and distance amongst ourselves?

Driven by competitiveness, we are just learning of each other’s faults, of each other’s negative side, of each other’s not-so-good persona… conveniently forgetting that much of this negative analysis is a out of our own paranoid imagination. Just like the Vikings - all they knew of the Dragons was “Extremely Dangerous” and all they wanted to do was “Kill at Sight” … such was their narrow vision, no one ever bothered to check the veracity of these claims. No one saw that the breathing-fire beasts had a warm side to them, for if Hiccup never tried, he would have never known.

This is what I learn, that following well established path of mistrust and competitiveness is easy, it looks macho and may be makes you feel brave… but in reality its paranoia that is ruling you. It is just a functional head on your shoulders which just gets on with the job like a machine. But if you really were to make a difference and reach out, it would take you a warm heart! It would take you personal strength – one that is not dependent on your weapons but in the conviction deep within. Employ this love and humanity, there is a better world to be made each moment.

For Love conquers everything and transcends all,
It moves all men, both great and small,
Give it a try, and try with your heart,
To see a changed world, change yourself for a start!!

Sunday, August 8, 2010

"... I screwed up!!"

Across my shoulder, I wished for an arm,
Disturbed heart, wishing for calm,
A helping hand, to pick myself up,
For this was the moment I screwed-up!

I knew it was my wrong, my bad,
But it was the ensuing loneliness, which made me sad
For I only hoped to you’d understand
That this was the moment I needed your hand!

I slipped and I know, I realize
That it wasn’t my best moment of being wise
Yet it wasn’t that I purposely let things slip
But it was a fleeting moment, a momentary blip!

In moments such as these,
When condemnations comes with ease,
All I need is a helping hand, to pick me up,
And tell me, that it’s ok to screw-up!!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Lonely am I??

The moonlit sky and I wonder why,
The twinkling stars, are hung so high!
Lying on my back, I gaze the blackened sky,
Wondering and asking - Lonely am I?

The stars are gone, and the sun is high,
Flowers have blossomed, and the birds fly by!
I sit by my window and heave a deep sigh,
Wondering and asking - Lonely am I?

The sun on wane, and the dusk is nigh,
The blue passeth over, as crimson fills the sky,
I walk under the young moon,
Having seen another day pass by,
Still wondering & asking- Lonely am I??

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Euro losing its sheen - and fast!!

The current crisis in Europe is fast becoming more of a free-fall than just a temporary blip. And the news of the Euro hitting a four year low versus the dollar only added to the gloom. The Euro ended the day’s trade at $1.2116 to a Euro, the worst since the April of 2006. With the crisis, dubbed the PIGS crisis (Portugal, Ireland, Spain and Greece) now taking shape of a full-fledged recession of the European economy, market sentiments across the globe are taking an untimely hit.

The world economy is still reeling from the after-effects of the Great Recession of 2008 could not have asked for a worst time for such a crisis that now looks to have at least temporarily halted the recovery.

Budget-cuts, strengthening tax-nets and austerity are the buzz words in the corridors of power across Europe even as Germany continues its hardliner stance against its suffering neighbors. Facing internal resistance against having to pay up for the excesses of the economies now in suffering the German is not too keen on becoming an ATM machine for Europe.

Drunk on a heady concoction of politics and economic factors, the sixteen member Euro zone entity seems to be on the cusp of something big – whether good or bad, can be told only with hindsight!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Happy Easter!!

"Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do!"

- Gospel of Luke 23:34

Often its the simplest of solutions that one finds the hardest to discover. Its those that are most obvious, but have a profound impact, which seem to be lost in on our mortal eyes. In times when the simplicity of love can heal, one often heads to the complexities of hate and division. As the world heads forth to yet another Easter weekend, and there have been atleast a couple of thousand of them already, I wonder if I and a great many like me, have acctually grasped the amazingly simple love that Christ exemplified on the Cross. Atop the mountain called Golgotha, He potrayed not just a sacrifice for those who were with Him, but an unqualified and unbelieveable love for those who had wronged Him. He gave himself not just for those who were devoted to Him but He went out looking for those who devovered Him.

In our present times, when relationships - both at an individual & societal level are strained; bonds that are streched and love that has gone stale; it is necessary we seek that simplicity of love that we saw on the cross. Our world has become complex with each of us grading people and their actions - good, bad, ugly, malicious, deplorable etc etc. Some people are seemingly deserving and the others being no qualified partakers of our love. Why have we conditionalized ourselves and our emtions so much? Ware there so many barriers to reach out to someone's heart and touch them with warmth??

'Love' is a word that can conjugate a different meaning for every different person. Its never been adequately defined, nor shall it ever !! For defining it is like the story of the blind who decide to describe what is an elephant like - each calling it what he has experienced it like; while each of them is correct in their own way, none of them are complete. Such is the case with Love - it can never fully fit into our finite minds. Our minds always seek to break things down to logic so that our small minds can take them in... but such is the infinity of love - that it shall never be fully comphrehended by anyone. There again, though no one fully comphrehends love, love in itself encompasses everyone - people, situations and emotions.

There is nothing love cannot solve nor anything that love cannot heal. But to do so, it must be allowed; it must be employed by us as a means to touch people's lives. Where fear divides and hatred hurts; love can build, restore and create an atmosphere for relationships to blossom. While hatred and uneasiness leave us as despicable & desolate men, love allows us the humanity & humility to co-habit in togetherness.

Christ spoke seven different things on the cross He was crucified, but just as He lived through His life, His heart first went out to those who were 'wrong'. He preached all his life about caring and loving those who have fallen out of favor with us, who no more figure in our 'special' list... those who you would rather do away with, those who hurt you and grieved you - malicious or otherwise! He saw a need in them to be restored.

Deep within, everyone has a desperate need of acceptance - irrespective of one actions & disposition. Similar must have been the case with those soldiers who meted out the most sereve and brutal punishments of the Roman times - to a man who was hardly deserving of it. I am sure in their individual lives they must have sought acceptance and love - found it a few times and not on other occassions... and yet to get it from the man whom they were crucifying must have been something they must have least expected. I surely trust that love must have stirred their hearts, if not in the commotion of that crucifixtion but in the solitude of its aftermath.

Being crucified was not a punishment just for the physical being of a person, it was to be a torture of unforeseen proportions. It was not just meant to kill but to put the person to the ultimate shame, to brutally hurt both the physical and mental person - all at the same time. While undergoing such monumental punishment Christ exemplified for us the Love which the world really needs. With every wrong that happens to us, we tend to fall backwards in the amount of love we give. With every situation thats against us, we retreat a few steps away from loving others. Bitterness fills our hearts as we walk our lives full of misery and discomfort, and yet it was never the lesson which Christ intended to leave with us. All He lived for was Love, all He died for was Love! So Love is ultimate message of Easter... spread it and live it!!

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